November: Part II- filling in the gaps

Serenity is not Freedom from the Storm, but Peace Within the Storm

Colorado & New Mexico- November 10-15

I can safely say that during this time I was far away from serene. All of a sudden I didn't want to be traveling and untethered AT ALL. I wanted calm stability, surrounded by loved ones. No decisions, no aloneness, just a nest with other nest mates. It was another level of digging deep to find the inner core of strength and resilience that I've cultivated since Ben died. I had to figure out how to breathe away the pit of anxiety I had in my stomach.

It's a lucky thing Colorado is so dang beautiful. Traveling through the mountains I was mostly cut off from cell service and radio stations. I had to rely on the spectacular scenery to bring me back to my 'present' state of just-fineness. Traveling south toward Durango was its own kind of meditation, at which I floundered and to which I returned as I was able.

My safe place- Jo and Carolyn's

But a refuge appeared after two nights on my own. Jo and Caroline are friends from Maui who live in Durango. They folded me into their arms in the most loving of ways, inviting me to stay with them for two nights. The balm of being in their calm, restful space helped me recover my center and equanimity.

Please imagine living in these conditions... if you can.

I took a day trip to Mesa Verde National Park to see the pueblo cliff dwellings. There was perspective to be gained there. The Anasazi lived in these extraordinary dwellings, climbing up or down for any supplies. But along with the challenges of this vertical living must have come the most immeasurable degree of community and togetherness.

I doubt if we can sense at all what living so closely and interdependently would have done for the human psyche. I am currently reading Sebastian Junger's Tribe, which looks at the long-forgotten human need for living communally. Does it take conflict and hardship to remind us of this need?

A kiva from pre-cliff dwelling times, about 750-1000 AD

Earthship structure in Taos, NM, one of many. Recycled tires
rammed with onsite earth and adobe skin. Amazing
low cost, small footprint housing. Off grid, uses
the region's 6 inches of water per year 3 times!
Perhaps this is the modern day version of pueblo living.